Daddy's Clothes

Good heavens, is it really December? Sorry about the lack of posting. Actually, I have about 3 posts (including this one) up my virtual sleeve, but due to life, a broken arm, and school, I've had, quite literally, no time. Be glad it's the weekend before the last week of school and I have nearly no homework.

Over the past few weeks, between life being itself and school, everything has been stressful. That's an understatement. I now have a cold I at least managed to hold off until after my chorus concert, and now I feel relatively awful.

In this time of stress, fear, stress, uncertainty, sickness, stress, cold temperatures, and stress, I've found myself being more drawn to my father's jackets/sweaters.

Clothing, I think for all girls, is a form of safety. I think we hide behind it, sometimes. Even those hideous, skin-tight skinny jeans can prove to be a form of safety. I, myself, have always preferred to hide behind clothes that were either too big for me or the old t-shirt and jeans trick. Especially big jackets and hoodies and sweaters. I am always cold and frequently nervous.

My dad has almost always been a safe place, except for maybe when he has a cook book in hand. During times of fear, is it not human nature to turn to a safe place? But my dad works weird hours. I get to see him only on weekends and the mornings when he takes us to school. Besides, he's not really a "how about a hug for your bad day" kind of man, anyway. But his clothing is his and it smells like him and he shows me that he loves me by letting me wear it. His clothing is just as safe as he is.

I always think about Meggie Folchart, from the book Inkheart, when thinking of things like this. The most vivid scene I remember from that book is the break down she has at her aunt's house after Mo is taken. She runs to his room and puts on his coat. That coat accompanies her through the whole book. That coat is her safety; it's her link to her dad.

Maybe I'm just completely insane; I'll leave you to judge. But in times like these, people turn to safety. Some people turn to movies or books or friends or writing or food or hobbies or tumblr or stamp collecting or studying. I turn to the hangers in my dad's closet that have the coats and sweaters and shirts that keep the cold out.

The Yearly Thanksgiving Post

I'm so thankful to be on Thanksgiving break right now. School has been taking over my life! I guess that's what happens when you take 2 AP classes... At any rate, I'm here now!

I can't believe November is almost over. Didn't it just start yesterday? Okay, so I guess it started 20 days ago. Where did the last 20 days go? Holy starfish, time has flown.

Well, it's November 20th (I think) and Thanksgiving is in 2 days! I know I won't have time to write on Thursday and probably won't have time tomorrow, either! And I must conform to the tradition of bloggers writing about holidays, so here I am. Blogging about Thanksgiving.

I want to warn you in advance that if you are an avid blog reader you will see this post approximately 2305039485709218475098134275 times, but with different words. Just a list of things I'm thankful for. I suppose they're all fun to read because we can see where people's priorities fall and some of them are really sweet. Mine will probably be boring. Feel free to skim, skip, or otherwise ignore. I won't know, so I won't take offence.

1. I'm really thankful for cranberry sauce. I have a love for this stuff, and I only get to eat it on Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas. How I love it.

2. I'm thankful for hot chocolate. I love it, too. And tea. I am a lover of tea.

3. I'm thankful for electricity. Mainly so I can use a stove to heat a kettle and make my hot chocolate or tea. And so it can power heat and AC and hot showers.

4. I'm thankful for the money to pay the electric bill. Granted, it's been close sometimes. But we still have a stove to heat the tea on, so I'm good!

5. I'm thankful for running water. One word: bathrooms.

6. I'm thankful for my cat. She keeps me sane knowing that she's not sane. It's funny because she's sitting on my arms right now as though she's queen of the universe and I am her humble slave.

7. I'm thankful for a house. Because some people don't have one and I know I take living here for granted. And I love it.

8. I'm thankful for a computer. I can write and play free cell to my heart's content.

9. I'm thankful for the internet!!!! Facebook, tumblr, google, blogger, TrueGirls, powerschool, email!!! Oh my gosh!

10. I'm thankful for my Church and my Church family. Because without them, I would not be who am I today.

11. I am thankful for people. Despite popular belief that the earth's gravitational orbit of the sun makes the world go 'round, it's actually people that make the world go 'round. People who talk and play and smile and laugh and work and improve and learn and search and discover and everything else. Even with the bad things, people make the world turn. Life would be very lonely without other people.

12. I'm thankful for all the adult teachers that have helped me along the way. Yes, because it's Thanksgiving I'm about to give you all the recognition you deserve: Mrs. Roberta, for helping me through every possible thing that could ever happen, big or small; Ms. Teresa, for always being there, teaching me responsibility, beginning driving lessons, teaching me about the joy of helping others, and for becoming my adoptive mother/grandmother person; Mrs. Leslie, for encouraging my faith journey and always being able to answer any questions I have; Mrs. Jaylen, for being perhaps the holiest and most God-loving woman I have ever met; Mrs. Sowell, for being there and accepting me and understanding me; Mrs. Denise, for the music lesson; Mrs. Val, for encouraging me in all of my fashion flops and making Homecoming possible; and for Father Gabe, Father Kaul, and Father McCarthy, for being the best priests and confessors that any teenage congregationalist could ever ask for.

13 . I am thankful for my siblings. All 4 of them. They've taught me quite a lot. Mainly how to make toast without burning it, use a microwave, keep fish alive (basically, keep all children under the age of 7 far, far away!), and be a responsible older sister. I love them dearly and my life would not be complete without them.

14. I am thankful for all the TrueGirls, namely Meg, Clare, Anna and Anna, Kathryn, Kat, Cam, Molly, Amelia, Lily, Charla, and Kayla. I wish I could name all of you, for you are all amazing and have taught me so much over the last 3 years. You have never turned me away, judged me, and have always been willing to give advice (some of the best advice I've ever received) and pray. And prayer makes every difference in the world.

15. I'm thankful for my other friends. Like my freepy friend, Randi!!! You are fantastic and patient and kind and loving and just downright amazing. I don't know what I'd do without you.

16. I am so thankful for my dad. He taught me how to swim, ride a bike, use the dishwasher/washing machine/dryer, read music, play the cello, and compromise. He's taught me what it means to take responsibility for my actions and the importance of being clear in what you say and communicating exactly what you mean. And the importance of calling people rather than just emailing. I love him.

17. I'm thankful for my Nathan. Without him, I would not know how to set the timer on my stove. He is becoming one of my closest friends and is practically a member of my family. He is teaching me what it means to care for someone that's not a sibling or parent or abandoned baby animal. I actually made him breakfast the other day, and even though I really don't like cooking, I enjoyed myself because I knew that it would make him happy. He is showing me what it means to do what's best for someone else even if you're not fond of the sacrifice (like having to pull things out of the oven, which I am deathly afraid of). So, okay, the cooking examples aren't very deep, but these are lessons that do go deeper and can apply anywhere. I care very much for him.

18. I'm so very, very thankful for my mom. First off, I wouldn't be here without here (or my dad either, if you really want to go there). I'm fond of the saying "remember the birth pangs of your mother". I see it all the time in the Bible, and love to spout it whenever my siblings are mad at my mom. I remember it, too, on the few occasions when she and I don't see eye-to-eye. She's taught me, perhaps, more than anyone else ever has. It's a long list that includes, but isn't limited to: brushing my hair, taking care of myself, feeding animals, taking care of others, putting others first, smiling even when it's hard, finding a bright side, expressing myself, playing a bit of piano, reading cooking directions, cleaning the house, folding clothes, listening, growing up, having the right table manners, being polite, playing nice, and, perhaps most importantly, loving unconditionally. As Mother Teresa said, "Love is a one way street; you give everything and take nothing." My mother loves deeply and passionately and eternally and she taught me how to do the same.

19. And finally, I am thankful for food.

Happy Thanksgiving and have a wonderful week off! And just for kicks, here's a Thanksgiving meme:

Tradition

Whenever I hear the word "tradition" I always think of the musical "Fiddler on the Roof". I guess because of that song called "Tradition". This has nothing to do with anything, except tradition, so, of course, I had to share it with you.

Thanksgiving is here, and that means that Christmas is practically upon us! I apologize for the lack of activity; there's this thing called school, and though I love it dearly, it often requires 32 hours a day. At any rate, tradition. Thanksgiving always brings tradition to mind because we've been celebrating this for a long time. I've actually taken about a week to mentally put this post together. Be proud. I planned ahead.

Tradition. What makes us special.

1. We always, ALWAYS put up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving. It's just something we do. I don't know why or when it started, I just know we do.

2. Ever since I was little, if I dropped food and it was retrieved under the 5-second-rule I have always blown on it and kissed it. Just like my nana taught me to do a long time ago.

3. Ever year, once it gets cold (and stays cold!) I get up every morning and check for snow. I have long since given up hope that there will be snow. But I've done this since I was 7 on the one morning that there really was snow.

4. I always put "a horse" somewhere on my Christmas list. I've given up on this one, too, but as long as I can remember it has always been on my Christmas list somewhere. From when I was little, even today at the mere age of 16 it appears.

5. I keep all my letters. This I picked up about 7  or 8 years ago from my Aunt Carol (how I adore her). I have probably about three stuffed shoe boxes now of letters from friends, family, and now colleges!

6. Elfie, the Elf will be returning December 1st. He's what you call an "Elf on a Shelf". Each day he appears somewhere different, but you can't touch him! He's making sure you're being good while Santa finalizes all of his last minute Christmas preparations. He goes back to the North Pole with Santa on Christmas Eve.

7. I always wish upon a star when I see the first star of the night. Even if I don't say the rhyme, I always wish.  Probably because a long time ago I once saw an episode of that Little Bear TV show where he wished upon a star. I picked it up, and here I am wishing on stars, still.

8. Whenever I hear "I don't believe in fairies" I have to clap and say "I do! I do believe in fairies!" like in Peter Pan, the new version (and, might I add, my favorite!).

My mother is telling me it's time for bed. I can't help but agree. But before I depart, remember the giraffe and continuation 1? Well, here's continuation 2: And the girl agreed to see Skyfall with him, and he watched her favorite movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, with her. And they had a wonderful time.

Good night! Happy Thanksgiving! And God bless us everyone! (Yes, I know Tiny Tim, is Christmas, but I did say Christmas was upon us, did I not?).

Ten Months: November and October

Well, it's November. I can hardly believe it. No, I can't hardly believe it. I really can't believe it. Where did the year go? Next month is Christmas? Just yesterday was October 1st. What is this sorcery? Well, it's here I suppose and that's what counts! It's November, month 6; month of Faith. Good starfish.

October was fun, you guys. I know I didn't post much (okay, not anything), about the self-discipline thing. But trust me, I got up for school on time, have gotten the Little Office back into my schedule, said goodbye to texting and doing homework at the same time, and controlled the intake of Halloween candy! I know.  So hardcore. Not to mention I'm learning how to balance school and family with the very special Nathan. It's been interesting, but I'm learning and balancing everything out!

So now, it's November, the month of Faith. I'm pretty excited, but nervous, too. School's been stressful, as have money, illness, and lack of sleep, but I know that my Mother is here to watch over me, and God has a plan. So that's what this month is about. The constant belief that everything's going to be alright.

Hey, and remember the giraffe? Here's a brief continuation: So, the girl took the boy to Mass for the first time. And he loved it.

God is good.

Stars

I heard something, or read it, perhaps, recently, about the stars. I don't remember might have said it or where I might have read it, but I did. And that's what matters.

It said this:

God wants you to look at Him the way you look in awe at the stars in the night sky. 

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty powerful. I mean legit powerful. Ever noticed how you look at the night sky? At the stars? The moon? Ever wonder why God placed that star right there and why that star is brighter than that one and why some are apart of constellations and some are not? You know that feeling of pure awe and wonder? That admiration of the stars' beautiful simplicity?

Last night, we were taking the very special Nathan home. He asked if we could take a detour to an old park in practically the middle of nowhere. My chaperon, the wonderful Mom, agreed. Nathan took me down a path that led through the woods, and up through the canopy of the trees, lo and behold, were the stars! It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Definitely the most romantic night ever.

But the stars, gosh. The stars. It was dark and the country and the sky was perfectly clear. They were so bright. I hadn't seen stars like that in a long time. I stood in awe. They were beautiful. They were incomprehensibly beautiful. They were perfect.

If we can look at the stars and be so in awe we cannot speak, what must it be like to see God? How wonderful must He be? How incomprehensibly beautiful and perfect?

He must love us a heck of a lot to give us the stars, because in giving us the stars, He gave us a glimpse of Himself.

I like to put pictures in posts, but I know I will not find a picture that expresses the beauty even close to the real thing. Instead I'm giving you an order (yes, I know. The odd teenager hiding behind her keyboard is ordering her readers about): Go outside tonight (or some night) and look at the stars.

The Lighthouse Keeper

I'd like to tell you guys a story.

I know. Another story. There have been lots of those recently, I suppose. Oh well. 

Think about a lighthouse. You know in the top of the lighthouse that area where the person man's the light? Well, he can look out and see everything. He looks out, shining his light. He sees everything. He seas the ocean, all the waves and the foam; he sees the rocks, waves crashing over them, birds landing on them; he sees the sand, coming in and out with the tide, swallowing the feet of innocent beach-walkers; he sees the beach walkers and the children; he sees the dolphins and the fish and the birds and the turtles and shrimp and crabs and reeds and sand spurs and bugs and sea shells. He sees the storm clouds when they're days away, and through the storm he sees the sun, even if no one else can see it. He sees everything. 

A storm comes along. The beach walkers and their children scramble around in fear. The birds squeak and squawk. The critters of the sea bury into the sand and the fish swim all around trying to find somewhere safe. There is general panic everywhere. Except for the man in the lighthouse. He is not afraid. He shines his light and tries to show everyone that the lighthouse is safe and they can stay there. He shines his light and tries to tell them that's going to be okay. But they don't listen. They can't see the light. They're so afraid of the storm above them that they refuse to look up. They keep their eyes downcast. They are afraid. 

Sometimes people do look up. The light hurts and it's overwhelming, and some shrink away, going back to their panic. But some continue to look, and some adjust to the light and follow it to the lighthouse. These brave souls are the ones that find the lighthouse keeper. They are given blankets and dry clothes and hot chocolate with marshmallows to warm themselves.The lighthouse keeper tells them stories. Stories of how long he's tried to get them to find him. Stories of the people that came. Stories of the people that didn't. Even stories of the people who came, and then left.

The people in the lighthouse vow never to leave. They vow to stay forever within the safety of the lighthouse's light; they vow to stay near the keeper of the lighthouse. Some of them keep their promises. But some see the storm clear away outside, but cannot see far enough to see the storm clouds just around the corner.

The people that stay in the lighthouse are safe forever. They love the lighthouse keeper. They never have to worry about the storms or the cold or the fear ever again. They are home.

Let's go home to the lighthouse.

The Tenor and The Soprano

I want to tell you a story. It's a very nice story, actually.

It starts in a chorus room. Imagine this. It's the beginning of a new school year. It's far enough into the year that seats and voice parts have been assigned, but most everyone knows only themselves. Imagine a girl, a soprano, sitting right next to the tenors. Imagine a boy, a tenor, sitting right next to the sopranos. The year goes on. People learn their neighbors. The tenor talks to the soprano. The soprano talks to the tenor. They become friends.

The tenor is one of six guys in the classroom. In his voice people hear the echo of a speech impediment. Sometimes people mention it. The soprano sticks up for him. The tenor comes to realize that she is the one.

He waits a year for her. School separates them. They come back and have the same lunch period. The tenor sits with the soprano, who would have been sitting utterly alone otherwise. They begin to talk again. They talk like the use to.

I'm going to cut to the chase. Mainly because my sister wants to get on the computer.

The tenor and the soprano become a duet. It's one of the happiest periods in the soprano's life. She feels like the luckiest girl in the world.The soprano thanks God everyday for the tenor. Neither of them are perfect. But both of them are good for each other, and so now they are together.

This story is incomplete. Only time will tell what the next chapter will hold. But for now, enjoy this picture of a giraffe.