Friday, December 14, 2012

Daddy's Clothes

Good heavens, is it really December? Sorry about the lack of posting. Actually, I have about 3 posts (including this one) up my virtual sleeve, but due to life, a broken arm, and school, I've had, quite literally, no time. Be glad it's the weekend before the last week of school and I have nearly no homework.

Over the past few weeks, between life being itself and school, everything has been stressful. That's an understatement. I now have a cold I at least managed to hold off until after my chorus concert, and now I feel relatively awful.

In this time of stress, fear, stress, uncertainty, sickness, stress, cold temperatures, and stress, I've found myself being more drawn to my father's jackets/sweaters.

Clothing, I think for all girls, is a form of safety. I think we hide behind it, sometimes. Even those hideous, skin-tight skinny jeans can prove to be a form of safety. I, myself, have always preferred to hide behind clothes that were either too big for me or the old t-shirt and jeans trick. Especially big jackets and hoodies and sweaters. I am always cold and frequently nervous.

My dad has almost always been a safe place, except for maybe when he has a cook book in hand. During times of fear, is it not human nature to turn to a safe place? But my dad works weird hours. I get to see him only on weekends and the mornings when he takes us to school. Besides, he's not really a "how about a hug for your bad day" kind of man, anyway. But his clothing is his and it smells like him and he shows me that he loves me by letting me wear it. His clothing is just as safe as he is.

I always think about Meggie Folchart, from the book Inkheart, when thinking of things like this. The most vivid scene I remember from that book is the break down she has at her aunt's house after Mo is taken. She runs to his room and puts on his coat. That coat accompanies her through the whole book. That coat is her safety; it's her link to her dad.

Maybe I'm just completely insane; I'll leave you to judge. But in times like these, people turn to safety. Some people turn to movies or books or friends or writing or food or hobbies or tumblr or stamp collecting or studying. I turn to the hangers in my dad's closet that have the coats and sweaters and shirts that keep the cold out.