Dreams and Choices

Please be warned. The following post may or may not make sense. It was written while feeling very inspired to write it, but not totally having all the thoughts together in a cohesive order.

See, I go to this amazing place called "The Rock". It's a very special youth group that is put on the radio every Tuesday evening. This week, as a speaker we had the former Fireflight drummer, Phee [insert last name here]. Fantastic guy.

He told us 3 stories, 2 of which I am going to share with you.

The first was of a young lady named Amelia. He and Amelia were friends growing up, and her dream was to have the perfect wedding. I mean that was her dream. That was the thing she was always talking about. For some of us our biggest dreams are being famous musicians or actors/actresses or opening our own art studio or meeting our soul mate (that's mine), and for Amelia, it was the perfect wedding. She had everything she wanted ready in her mind. All she lacked was the groom and the money. But Amelia loved God and she had her heart set on Him and this perfect wedding.

Amelia was a hairdresser. She ended up talking with one of her clients one day about the dream wedding and everything. This client ended up being a caterer, and when they were done, told Amelia that when she got married to let her know, and she'd cater it for free. I don't know about you, but that made me start grinning.

A little bit goes by, and she starts talking about her dream wedding to someone else about her perfect wedding cake. This person ends up being a baker, and, like the caterer, says to contact them when Amelia gets married and they'll make the cake for free.

Finally, Amelia found her dream wedding dress. It was way out of her price range, but still, it was her dream wedding dress. She meets a woman and they begin talking about this wedding dress, turns out this woman has the exact dress Amelia dreams of. Turns out the woman and Amelia are the same size. This woman, being older, I assume, gives Amelia the wedding dress.

A few years later, Amelia meets her soul mate, Leon. They knew they were meant for each other the moment they met. Problem. Leon lived across the country. They maintained a long distance relationship for a few years before he made the decision to move closer to her. Problem. They didn't have the money for him to buy a temporary place before they got married. Amelia says there's another option and offers to have him move in with her into a separate room, of course. He does. And he loves God just as much as Amelia, and they're both all for the waiting for marriage thing.

Little bit later, Amelia is pregnant. The marriage date is coming up close. The people that offered those wonderful things to Amelia back out. Amelia's own parents don't even attend the wedding because they're so disappointed. It is very far away from being her dream wedding.

Phee goes onto talk about the choices Amelia and Leon made. They were going great up until that one moment when they were alone together. That one little choice made the difference in her dream wedding. That thing she wanted so bad. Gone. Because of one little choice. Of course, we could argue that if she was happy with her soul mate and her baby, that should have been her dream wedding, but that's not really the point.

Story number 2:

Phee, in high school, knew a guy he called "Steve". Steve was the kid that no one really wanted to be with. He was the dorky kid that adored the Spice Girls and couldn't afford "hip" clothing. Through some outer source that remained unspecified, Phee knew details about Steve's home life. Though they were not shared, we can all imagine what it must have been like.

Kids picked on Steve a lot, and Steve eventually stopped coming to the youth group and Church where he and Phee knew each other. Phee found himself praying to God for a friend for Steve. A good friend. A friend who wouldn't leave him or let him down.

Phee ran into Steve days later, and said hello and invited him back to youth group, but that was it. He left. He said that he told God, "God, I want a friend for Steve, but I didn't mean me."

This happened twice more, and the third time, Phee said he felt God telling him to give his number to Steve and to invite him out with his friends that very night. Phee refused, saying to God, "Look, I want Steve to have a friend, but I didn't mean me."

Phee was told a few days later that Steve had committed suicide.

Phee explained how one of his choices played a part in destroying all of Steve's dreams, whatever they were. That one choice. That one decision where he said "I am not this 'legendary friend' for Steve". If he had decided to be that legendary friend, he probably could have saved Steve's life. But he didn't.

I'm not saying that it's Phee's fault that Steve died, because it wasn't. But Phee could have helped make Steve's life a little brighter. It wasn't his fault that Steve thought that suicide was his only option, but Phee could have helped Steve to see that suicide wasn't the option.

Choices and dreams. We all have dreams. We all make choices. Do our choices lend themselves on the road to catching our dreams, or do they take us away from them? Think about it.

Amelia had that dream wedding. That choice to have sex out of marriage destroyed that. I don't know what Steve's dreams might have been, but his choice to kill himself destroyed them. Phee wanted to be a good friend, that was one of his dreams, but he decided he didn't want to be Steve's friend. Phee now has to live with the realization that he could have saved someone's life.

Now, of course, both Phee and Amelia and Steve live wonderful lives. Phee straightened out and now travels the world speaking the word of God after being Fireflight's drummer for a number of years. Amelia now has 3 children, a relationship with her parents again, and her soul mate. Steve is now hopefully with God somewhere in a place where he is not bullied, not rejected, and not hurting. I like to think he is happy in Heaven, even though I only heard his story tonight. I cannot imagine him anywhere else. Those stories struck me and I doubt I will ever forget them.

Dreams and choices. I dream of finding my soul mate somewhere out there. Though I do not believe in prince charmings (that's another post coming soon, I think), I do believe in soul mates; I believe that my soul mate is somewhere out there with God preparing him for me. I dream of God molding me into that beautiful bride my future groom will meet one day. I dream of God molding that man into my future groom. Sappy and corny, I know. But Amelia's biggest dream was a perfect wedding, can't I find my soul mate?

To find my soul mate, I choose to become a wonderful young lady, pure, honest, kind, courageous, patient, and whatever else is in that picture. I choose to be God's daughter first, and his future wife second. I choose to wait for him, knowing that I am definitely not ready. I choose to be on the road to becoming ready for him.

What are your dreams?